Northwest Driving HOWTO

How to drive like a Northwest Imbecille:

1) Get in your red 2006 jetta

2) Turn up iPod to full volume and connect with Belkin FM transmitter to German sound system…put Volume on “11”.

3) Make sure all windows have been tinted to maximum darkness.

4) As you drive around local streets, be sure to stop and go as you like, pausing to look at shop windows and see if “some girl you saw” is in there.

5) Ignore all other drivers.

6) Meander in each and every lane, as needed (by you).

7) At stop signs, be sure and take several minutes as you finish whatever fantastic story your recounting on your cell phone.

8) Pull up slowly near corners and peer around and make sure that everyone is looking at you.

9) Then, push accelerator to max, and make turn at 90 mph in crowded street. Race up hill.

10) Get to next stop light and repeat.

via slog.thestranger.com

Posted via web from Seattle Freeze